You must
by Shenive-chan
Summary: Slightly AU Oneshot. Short. Sasuke's mind in the midst of a decision You must you must kill your special person in order to kill that man... I love you. SasuNaru A bit of angst and really weird. Implied sexual activity.
1. Rain

**All supposed grammar mistakes are intentional. I've been reading the sound and the fury too much. This jumps around a lot.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**

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**Rain**  
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Kabuto stood to my right, the sunlight reflecting off his glasses. He watched me with great interest as I trained. Right left right Left. My feet moved as if in a dance. I trained in my own from time to time. While Kabuto watched me. I couldn't shake him off. It was his duty to look after me (more like make sure I didn't escape) while I was out of the compound. Right left, jump kick _You can't kill_ and I swerved to the left again, surprising Kabuto as my hand grazed past his cheek. He gave a smirk, "You've gotten better." Was all he said to me and disappeared in a burst of wind. He thought I wasn't alone, not yet. Orochimaru had people everywhere. Not anymore. It started to rain.

The drops of water slipped down my face _break the bonds an unsightly way_, it tastes sweet and salty against my lips. It rained harder harder. My hair flattened out, and my clothes took in the precipitation, tightening against my skin. Pale. _you can't kill you can't live in _Pale. My katana moved back and forth with each step and the ground turned into mud, soft and smooth against my feet _I promised run run_. The otherwise small rivers that ran through the area grew in speed and power, water rushing down the banks faster and faster. It rained as hard as _Come back I promise_ the other day a week ago. I went out then too.

_You aren't worth_ the room was dark, and I laid on my futon with the doors open. It was cold, but it was hot inside. And the curse mark burned against my neck and my spine tingled with the pain of overuse. My eyes bled red and red. I couldn't hold back, the blood seeped down and I looked over at the dead body _killing you aren't_ and the blonde hair shone too brightly in the room. It was too dark. It was too dark. The skin went pale. Like mine, pale. The girls eyes had been green. Had been, they were gouged out. The body had been there when I had come in. It was too dark. And the blood stained the wooden floor, and crusted there, in various designs, in the various kanji of jutsu's I had learned during my defection. As if it were intentional. As if I had spread it around myself. Her legs were cut off, and the blood had long since poured out of them. She had no _run run and live_ legs. Naruto had a hole in his chest. He had one. I gave it to him. I laughed and laughed. I couldn't stop. Naruto had a hole in his chest. I gave it to him _scratch my_ and he was still alive. The blonde girl here. I killed her.

And I slept in the room with the _you are my_ body, watching it rot, the smell reaching my nostrils and constricting my throat. I killed her. I needed to stay and watch what I had done. Prepare prepare. She had green eyes _blue, they're really blue. I know what lies behind get out what are you doing blue, like the sky. Really blue. What are you doing you can't come up and they're different from my own. Black like the night and you I promise I will Teme Sasuke Teme Sasuke I promise I'll Oh oh oh ahh and it's dark, too dark to leave stay. Who else, who else but you I promise I will always don't stop let's do soft you're very girly Dobe Naruto Dobe Naruto you're my I'll love ahh don't ohh ahhh the ground is too hard and muddy don't_

I remember that day well. It was muddy. Like it was a few days ago. I lay on my futon staring at her hair. I had to pretend pretend and my curse seal activated and it burned my entire body. I was soar, can't stop. I had to kill.

Why are you doing this?  
I will break all bonds  
No no, stop why are you  
I must run  
I'll help you lets run together don't do this  
don't do this  
Live in an unsightly way he told me to  
I promised to bring  
and he used the mangekyou  
he told me to  
he showed me  
and my mother  
I have no one you are my  
death, he told me to  
best friend  
In order to reach that level  
let's do it together  
one has to you can't you can't  
leave me I swear you can't  
kill those most special  
you are my special person, so I must  
you can't, don't leave. I swear I'll  
I wont look back  
this place is  
my home lets go back to run run  
she's crying and crying  
her, I told her that I would  
unsightly way run run and live  
over and over and over again  
stop stop, just stop and come back  
he's going to use you  
he's going to give power to run run  
I don't care, I promise to  
bring you back  
must kill that special little brother  
teme, stop stop. I'll defeat you,  
I'll bringlet go of all the bonds and kill  
you, teme.  
I swear I promise you.

It was harder to walk in the mud. It clumped together under my sandals and the bottom of my pants, spraying it around with each step, with each movement. I shivered in the cold, but I trudged on because I promised to myself to kill that man. And I must find the others who will rid of the Akatsuki _we came here for Naruto seems you haven't learned foolish little brother live in an_ while I take Itachi on myself. _They replace you so easily, can't you see? Love love, kill that special person in order to _and I finally reached my destination.

I must kill my special person in order to kill my brother.

_I love you_

Naruto.

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**God, what the hell? I don't know. I just wanted to get rid of this thought. Would you all mind reviewing though? It's my first one shot, and first try at something that is not humor or drama oriented. Is it angst? Horror?**

**REVIEW! Take care!**


	2. That man ties our fates together

**I said it was a one shot but I couldn't help wanting to write more. Sasuke is the crazyness I love.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

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**_-- _**

**_--That man ties our fates together--_**

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Karin was there, along with Juugo and Suigetsu. We walked onwards through the rain and through the mud, as I tried to find the meaning to my existence. I don't know how much we walked, We just stopped by a great bridge one day _what shall we call it we haven't yes, that's it, we'll call it the Great _and I remembered a lot of things that I had forgotten long ago. I wondered when the snow would start falling. I wondered when summer had ended and fall had begun. Time passed by too slowly and too fast for me to keep up with _day turned to We must find him and_ I wasn't sure what day it was, or what month or what year. I wasn't sure of anything.

_Sasuke is No no a ninja isn't supposed to have any and the snow fell down over them like that day, that day they met and it was the first time I cared for _I recognized many paths, many roads, and many places. From a time too long back for me to bother trying to relive. I couldn't anyways, because that man made sure _Even if I have to break your arms and_ because that man was still alive somewhere. My family mocked me in my sleep. Or maybe I wasn't asleep. I can't recall the last time I closed my eyes. Or the last time they were the dark that _Naruto_ Everything is blurry and I can't remember the last time...

Karin looks at me and wonders. About what, I'm not sure. But I can tell. Juugo and Suigetsu don't wonder, they don't ask, they don't care. My life is mine, theirs is theirs.

As surely as I Knew that physically I was still alive, I also knew that mentally I had long left. And that dark that _Naruto...and your legs to bring_ I wondered when fall had ended and the snow finally started accumulating around me. Winter and another year _you back_ Summer Autumn Winter Spring. And another year and another and another and... We are Team Hebi. That's what I called us. Hebi. Because we crawl through the ground, like a vile creature and wield powers that others_ break these ties and the snake looked at me fearing the fo_

Listen listen as the snow falls and another year passes by and that brother keeps living through it like I am and that fox sees it just the same Listen listen as I tear myself up knowing that this is the only path and this is the only way and the white around me is too pure and too much like And listen because I can't speak and I can't show any feelings for anything other than through the blue eyes of someone I knew long back and I listen listen breaths higher and moans lower and the wind carries voice over voice and I relish in the listen listen because I've lost all sense of

It's the first time I open my eyes knowing I had closed them the night before and they stayed closed. I can't remember when Winter melted and grass grew back and the fox in front of me looking old and withered and wise. It patted down, it paws making imprints on the mud still cool from the remaining ice and I watched as it watched me. I saw a snake from afar following at the fox's steps, waiting to bite, and the fox knew, he knew he knew and didn't do anything. Because it was old because it was withered because it was wise and because it knew who I was and it knew what I had done _I did it on a whim_ and it looked into my eyes and and and and

The snake waited for a command from me. It stared at me too. And I watched the fox as it feebly made its way towards me clinging to all hope that I would save it and I watched _watched watched_ and then I turned away _blue his eyes are and it would be impossible for me to compare left for power to the snake and I left the fox alone and defenseless and powerless and it trusted me and I did it on a whim._

I heard a yelp and I walked away to refresh myself and eat and confuse my team even more. When I returned the fox only took a few more breaths and closed its eyes forever. The snake turned to me and then slithered away to the dark forest, leaving a wet trail and the fox's paws still lingered. I picked it up and laid it next to blooming yellow flowers while the sky shone a blue too bright for me to keep staring at. It was a test, I knew, could I get over _golden hair and his skin was soft and his voice changed to a texture that further enticed me and he moaned as I moved back and forth, glad and guilty over his body and him crying for me to stay and this is all I could do before I forget him._

The fox laid there and I left. It was to harsh to see it rot like that blonde girl. I felt warm and cold at the same time. I got my white clothing stained by a scampering rabbit as it kicked up the wet dirt. My feet hurt and they were heavy. The team was ready, we walked again, too confused about dates and shadows to stop, it was too far ahead and we were to far behind to take any rest. When had life gotten so outrageously out of my hands like the life of that fox I left behind and the life of that other fox I left behind. _Yes sasuke there keep going, god I_ It runs and runs tirelessly and I can't seem to catch up with it. Maybe this is what my brother meant. This is what he hoped for. I've lost all sense of self.

Karing hangs on me like we've been together for a life and more. I don't care I don't care I don't care since I just see _I_ _love, yes! There ohhh yes I lo _he never finished that sentence. He never did. Not because he didn't mean it, because I didn't let him. Because if he said it I wouldn't have Karin hanging on me and watch another year go by Winter Spring Summer Fall and Suigetsu and Juugo there as well and that fox would have lived and the snake should have died long back dammit it would be sad okay good melancholy _stupid little brother_ I eat rarely fill my mouth with air in hopes that maybe I'll die naturally and leave leave leave with him and the blue that never ends and and and

We'll meet again for sure, that man ties our fates together

See, I tell you it's a whim because it is because I know that We'll meet again for sure, that man ties our fates together

You follow, I know you See, I tell you it's a whim because it is because I know that We'll meet again for sure, that man ties our fates together

I'll walk away from there and You follow, I know you See, I tell you it's a whim because it is because I know that We'll meet again for sure, that man ties our fates together

Look at me with eyes sad and I'll walk away from there and You follow, I know you See, I tell you it's a whim because it is because I know that We'll meet again for sure, that man ties our fates together

Those times above you you Look at me with eyes sad and I'll walk away from there and You follow, I know you See, I tell you it's a whim because it is because I know that We'll meet again for sure, that man ties our fates together

If anything that hope you hold and that fox and the rain and the mud and that girl and the snake and this team I've replaced all with like they've done to me is like Those times above you you Look at me with eyes sad and I'll walk away from there and You follow, I know you See, I tell you it's a whim because it is because I know that We'll meet again for sure, that man ties our fates together.

That man. That man. That man. We'll meet again

_Naruto_

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**Yes I myself am insane I know. Haha, well, thanks for all those who responded before hand. And if you were confused as to the style, read something by Faulkner. It's a trip. Now here it comes...**

**REVIEW! I'll love yous all forevers!**


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